Did You Ever See Harrison Bergeron?

I’m bored and have no one to talk to, so here I am again, blurting my brains out.

I saw this movie quite a while ago. It was based on a book by Kurt Vonnegut and basically its about this dystopian world where everything and everyone is equal and nothing is great. No great writers, no great singers, no fantastic food…nothing. The best decription I can come up with is that everything is beige. Nothing is bad, but nothing is very good either.

At the time it really hit me hard. I couldn’t imagine a world without amazing literature and art and music. Where TV shows and movies were just bland and barely interesting. I couldn’t imagine being excited about anything in this world because it was so bland and what was the point if you were never blown out of your socks by something fantastic? And the worst part? No one noticed. Well almost no one, because it didn’t happen over night. It took years and years and went so slowly that everyone just drifted along, not seeing what the big picture was really doing to be. The governments were trying to keep everything peaceful, no more wars and the best way to do it was to give no one anything to fight over. And they did get peace but the cost was unimaginable.

Of course, humans being what they are, everyoe once in a while someone would wake up and really see the world around them. Someone with a little spark of something more. Someone who could write a better than anyone else, or sing or paint or play an instrument. And of course, the government couldn’t have that so they handicapped them in some way. Like Harrison. He was captured and because he was so smart, they were going to lobotimize him so he couldn’t wake the people up and turn them agains the governmnet.

He’s rescued just in time by a man from a secret society who offers him the chance to go and live in a secret world, where people who were smart and funny and talented gathered together. Of course he’d have to leave his whole family behind as well as everyone else.

Now here’s the strangest part. I can’t remember how the movie ends. I know in the book Harrison tries to take over the government and ends up dead, but I can’t remember if Harrison in the movie takes the secret society up on their offer.

Those of you who know me, know that I am all about equality, especially for women and the LGTBQ+ community. And to some, this may seem like the same thing as what happened in Harrison Bergeron, but it’s not. What I and many others are fighting for is for everyone to have the same rights as everyone else. And rights are not like pie. When you give them to more people, you aren’t taking them away from someone else.

I am worried about the world though. There’s seems to be so many people out there who are hating everyone who is not exactly like them. People who think that the “rules” they follow should be followed by everyone else.

People who don’t understand that just because they are on a diet doesn’t mean I shouldn’t eat donuts.

This is the kind of world Harrison was living in. One that didn’t tolerate change or growth. One that was willing to lose so many amazing things just to make sure that they didn’t have to deal with anything that makes them uncomfortable. It was run by people who were so sure of their right to make decisions for everyone else because it was the only way to keep the peace.

I wish that more people would stop being so interested in what everyone else was doing and focus on what makes their own lives better. Try looking at the world with empathy and compassion and understanding and stop thinking that someone elses happiness is taking something away from you.

Go watch Harrison Bergeron, or read the book. And someone let me know how the movie ends.

https://g.co/kgs/cPbtKyJ

At a loss for words…

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. I think my last post was my 50th birthday and I will be 55 in October. I’ve been at a loss for words in more ways than one.

I seem to have forgotten how to write. My muse just walked off and left me and it feels like I’ve lost such an important part of myself and I can’t figure out how to get it back. I’ve got a couple of almost written stories that have 50,000 words or more and I can’t figure out how to end them. I have a dozen or more first chapters that went absolutely no where. It’s like having something on the tip of your tongue and not being able to get it out. Some days it makes me want to cry but that seems like something I’ve forgotten how to do as well.

It’s kind of crazy but I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve stuffed everything down so far that I’m afraid if I ever let it out I might not be able to stop. So I don’t. I almost do, but then I can feel the sadness and anger and crazy-assed rage start to take over and I pull it back, because I know the person who’s standing there in front of me is most likely not the person who deserves to be on the receiving end of my insanity. Being the straw that broke the camels back doesn’t make you responsible for the backlog.

I do tear up. Video of an abused cat or dog? I start to sniffle. Those videos where military people are reunited with their loved ones? Tears always start to fall. My little neice or nephew says “I love you” and I’m grinning as my eyes fill.

But that’s it. Do I know it’s shoring up a crumbling dam with rotting trees? Of course, but I’m at a loss on how to fix it.

I thought about therapy, but I’m not sure I really believe it can help. I’ve seen so many people in therapy who never get better because the therapist can only work with what you give them and if you aren’t giving them the truth, then how can you actually heal. And I can’t quite convince myself that talking about stuff to a stranger is going to make me feel any better.

The hysterical thing is, here I am on my blog, talking to a bunch of strangers…if anyone even sees it.

I’ve also lost the words I used to have when people needed me to talk. The words that would fix things and make situations better. Anyone who knows me knows that I can talk for days without running out of things to say. If there were Olympics for running off at the mouth, I’d be a gold medalist.

But I think too much these days and reconsider every god damn idea that might possibly come out of my mouth because I might upset someone or be taken the wrong way. With my record, it’s a valid concern. So, I’ve kind of given up I think. And it makes me sad because I really do want to help the people I care about.

I feel like if I could ever get some of those words out of my head, I might be able to make room for my muse to come visit but I don’t know if that will ever happen. I hope it does. I have lots of ideas for stories I would love to tell if I could ever get over that stumbling block the size of the Great Wall of China.

Anyway, closing out with a pic of my writing companion George. She’s a bit of a stinker but I love her to bits.

It’s scarier when you say “half a century”….

I’m 50 today and I’ve spent the day thinking about the last 10 years of my life. I guess because 40 was the last big milestone. When I turned 40 I got all the teasing and “over the hill” comments and I really didn’t care because to me, age didn’t really mean anything.

It’s affecting me a little more today, mostly because I’m coming to realize that all those plans I made when I was younger…the ones for “the future” are probably never going to come true because time is running out and I can’t seem to find a way to make those plans a reality.

What are those plans? Doesn’t really matter. They really aren’t the point. It’s more about how time slipped away so much faster than I thought it would and isn’t that just a kick in the ass?

But some things have changed. When I turned 40 I had never heard the word “fandom”. I’d never written anything that I was willing to show people. I’d certainly never even thought I could write a novel, let alone publishing 6 of them.

When I was 40 I was an LGTBQ+ ally but I really didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know it was standing up for people even when the world around me thought I was a little crazy. I didn’t know then that the little 8 year old girl that was my whole world would become a part of that community. I didn’t know then that I could just as well end up with a daughter in law instead of a son in law someday, although if you would have asked me, I hope I would have said it didn’t matter to me. It’s really not a question I can honestly answer on this side of the last 10 years.

When I was 40 I didn’t have friends who lived all over the globe, people who taught me that maybe I wasn’t so strange for my thoughts and beliefs as I thought I was. People who understand me and have supported me through things that I didn’t ever think could be an issue. People who have opened my eyes to so many things that are happening around the world, good and bad, making me a bigger part of a global community. People who care about the world we live in and how we can at least try to make it a better inheritance for our children.

When I was 40 I was so lonely all the time. I worked from home taking care of other people’s kids because it was the best way for me to take care of my own child. I spent a lot of time watching TV half the night because I really had no one to talk to. I’m not good at making or keeping friends and so spending time alone while my husband worked was my only option.

I used to do stuff on the computer then, although mostly I just watched youtube videos. Then I discovered a show called Torchwood, a Doctor Who spinoff and I became obsessed. I found a bunch of fan vids on youtube and through them I discovered the story of two young, gay men and it changed my life.

Crazy you say? Probably, but it’s true. I started chatting to people in the comments on the videos and that’s where Louise Cossey found me. That’s when the world went loopy and I loved it. Through her I met a bunch of people who had the same interests as me. I discovered fanfiction, something I had no idea even existed, and being a voracious reader, it was a boon for me. Tons of free stories based on stories I already loved.

Then one day I got so tired of the writing on the show we all loved and thought “I can do better than that.” So I tried.

And people loved it! It was so amazing to be encouraged and told I was good at something that wasn’t cooking or cleaning or taking care of kids. I was finally told I was good at something that had nothing to do with doing things for other people, something that was just about me.

Then came that four chapter story that blossomed into 26 chapters and Louise and Dani and Ryan all told me to submit it for publishing and I thought they were nuts. (Still do, lol) But I gave in to shut them up and when that yes came from Dreamspinner Press , I literally almost fell off the couch.

I love writing, and the next few years were a little crazy.

Now I’m 50 and I’m feeling down. That creative streak that I was so proud of, the one that had me churning out story after story has abandoned me. I can’t write. I have 60,000 words of one story that I can’t finished and it’s killing me. I feel like I’ve really lost a part of myself. I’ve stopped even trying at the moment because it’s depressing me so much to be so stuck. I hope I find that writer in me again one day because I feel like I’ve lost a big part of my soul along with it.

For now though, I’m keeping busy, trying to be a good human, doing me best to make the world a better place. Getting Meghan ready for Vancouver next year is my immediate goal. I’m her constant cheerleader and her biggest fan. I have all the faith in the world that someday she will fulfill her dream of being the next Lin-Manuel Miranda because her determination is unfailing. If you don’t know who that is, Google him. He’s a writer and and actor and I director who’s taking Broadway by storm and my girl is chomping at the bit to follow in his footsteps.

Letting her go will be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I’ll do it anyway. I want to see her take the chances I was always too scared to take.

So yeah, life is different for me now…and some of it’s the same. I don’t know where the next 10 years will take me, but I’ll keep going, trekking along to see what comes next. When I was 40 I wasn’t always sure I wanted to, so I guess that’s probably the biggest change right there. I’m still lonely sometimes. I’m still not good at keeping friends but I’m trying.

I’m keeping my eyes on the good, looking for new challenges to keep life interesting, and making the decision each and every day to just take it as it comes. It’s all I can do.

Living a little lost

Been a while huh? My will to blog seems to have disappeared along with my writing mojo, mostly because I don’t know what to blog about. But here it goes anyhow.

Things are puttering along mostly the same. I want to write, but when I sit down at my computer, I start writing and the next thing you know, I’m falling asleep. I literally cannot stay awake. I don’t know why.

Those of you who read or write in the m/m genre undoubtedly know about all the uncertainty going on over at Dreamspinner Press and I think that’s part of my problem lately.

When DSP said yes to my first book I was so over the moon I almost fell off my couch. It was like a dream for me, one that I never really talked about out loud, but seemed to come true none the less. Then they bought the second and the third and I was so damned proud of being a Dreamspinner author.

I still am.

I finally felt like maybe I would be leaving some small legacy behind me. It’s why I published under my real name. I wanted to be able to look back in the future and say “See? This is me. I did this really awesome thing once upon a time.”

And this not knowing what’s going to happen is killing me. Because I foolishly thought those books would always be there. That I could go to Amazon and look myself up and if I could see myself there, then other people might see me too. That doesn’t happen a lot, being seen.

But if DSP goes under, the books will go away and I am neither rich or smart enough to self-publish and what other publisher will want my mediocre novels? (Except Wrapped Up in Chains. I still think it was pretty damn good.)

I’ve not picked sides and I suspect I’m not the only one. It’s hard because there are writers I admire so much on both sides of the fence. Some are bound and determined that things are fine and if we only have a little patience and faith everything will work out. Of course, those are authors who’s names are synonymous with making tons of money for DSP and are probably the first to be paid. I want to believe them with all my heart though. I want DSP to thrive.

I have a hard time believing that the authors who are angry with DSP are lying, but I keep feeling like there’s more to this story than the public is hearing. I kinda wish I knew what to believe and I kinda don’t. There’s nothing like denial to keep the hope alive in your heart.

I haven’t been paid yet for the second quarter but its the first time I haven’t been. However I have a hard time believing that they aren’t intending to pay when they’ve gone through the trouble of having me sign up for Tipali and Box.com. I’m not owed a bunch and I’m holding out hope that it will be paid. I still believe that Elizabeth and the rest are trying hard to keep everything going and trying to do what’s best for all the authors who have put their works into their safekeeping.

It’s wearing me down though. I haven’t felt this lost since 2009 when I discovered Nuke and started writing fanfiction. I miss those early days so much right now, when I felt like finally I’d found people like me and that maybe I wasn’t so weird or strange after all. I miss the feeling of belonging that I found within that fandom. Louise and Dani and Sue and Mike and especially Anna and Ryan (10 years later Ryan, can you believe it???) You all still hold places in my heart that I can’t even begin to explain how special you are.

Another issue I’m having is that I’m questioning my right to write what I do. Some days I wonder how I dare to write about two gay men as a cis woman. The problem is that I have no interest in joining the Harlequin or Mills and Boon crowd. It just doesn’t interest me in the least. I haven’t read a het romance in 10 years and considering the volume of them I use to plow through before that, that’s saying something.

I’ve also had a little shot taken at my own morality. My Uncle Brian was killed in an accident a few weeks ago. It was such a blow to me and my family. The man was so much larger than life and when my mom told me, I think a few circuits blew in my brain…and my heart. I have several elderly family members and when mom told me she had to tell me something, that’s what I was expecting to hear about.

Uncle Brian? It was unfathomable. He and my Aunty Leanne hosted my wedding. They fixed up their acerage until it was a little piece of Heaven and then Uncle says “we arranged it with neighbors that you could do your photos there. Their garden is beautiful.” Of course we refused and did our photos right there at Hidden Acres, where so much love was invested into our day.

Did I mention that they are not related by blood? They are family I got to choose not that I was born with and I can’t imagine my life without them. We’ve all drifted apart in the past few years, as families grow and time creeps by without us noticing, but I always knew they’d be there if I needed them.

Last year was my parents 50th wedding anniversary and I’m so grateful to everyone who came to celebrate with us. But it wasn’t perfect until Uncle Brian and Aunty Leanne and their kids (who are grown-assed adults with families of their own) pulled up. I watched them get out of the car and started to cry. Uncle Brian gave me a big hug and said “how’s it going kiddo.” All of the sudden it was great.

Anyway, that’s what’s up with me. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster and man, do I hate rollercoasters. Sorry for being so absent. I won’t make any promises that I can’t keep but I’ll try to do better.

My dad and Uncle Brian

Love Aggression, the Pride Parade and life in general. June is a busy month!

My latest novel, Love Aggression came out on May 30 and I am so immensely proud of it. Getting it published took a long time and I hope Ashavan Doyan and Ron Desroches at Purple Horn Press know how grateful I am for all of their hard work. And writers, especially new writers, if you’re looking for a publisher, then give Purple Horn Press a chance. They will walk you through all the steps and I promise, you won’t be sorry. Here’s a link to the submission guidelines!

You know, this has been a stressful couple of months for me. Waiting for the release and then sitting and watching my book riding the rankings at Amazon like a roller coaster. It’s left me feeling a little sick to my stomach. But it also gives me a feeling of accomplishment that nothing else can compare to.

So what else is new? It’s Pride month, obviously and I got back to the parade this year, after having to work last year. My daughter Meghan was part of the Grand Marshal contingent this year and it made me so proud to see her walking up there with her peers, and standing up for herself and the community she was representing.

For those of you who don’t know, Meghan is pansexual. That means she doesn’t really care about the sexual identity of the person she’s attracted to. She looks more at who a person is in their heart and in their mind and I think that makes her amazing.

This year was the first time we encountered a protest at the parade. A group of people from the community wanted to be heard and made sure they were. I absolutely understand that there is still work to be done on behalf of transgendered persons and people of color in the LGTBQ community and I’m glad they had the chance to say what was on their minds. I hope that it will open up a dialogue with the Pride Committee and others who need to work on their interactions and support with the people are still feeling like they are on the outside looking in and terrified of the things that could still happen to them.

However, as a mother, watching your child disappear around the corner at the end of the parade, out of your sight, only to have it all stop a minute or so later it was very scary. I couldn’t see her, or the group she had been with, but I could see all the police officers who were there providing security looking in that direction. My only consolation was they didn’t seem very concerned and when I texted Meghan she answered me right away, telling me about the protest and letting me know that she was with people she trusted and out of harms way.

Fortunately it ended a short time later, with concessions made on both sides and promises for future talks. But the thought of what could have been left me sleepless for more than a few nights.

I thought about telling her no more Pride but then I realized that if I was going to stand with her and the rest of the community, then I also had to understand that sometimes there are risks. I always considered that before going, although my concerns where always more along the lines of queerphobic assholes causing problems.

I think when we are celebrating how far we have come in the world in regards to equal rights, we sometimes forget how far there still is to go. And as an ally, if I want to celebrate with you in the good times, I also have to stand with you in the scary, sad and frustrating times. This year was a sobering reminder that Pride didn’t start as a celebration, it started as a protest against oppression and I’m thankful for that reminder.

And as for the rest of life, well, it’s busy. Working full-time, trying to promote Love Aggression and finding time to read, write reviews for the Love Bytes book blog and work on my WIP…well it doesn’t leave time for much else.

Except thinking about that sequel my publisher keeps hinting at. Woof!

Anyway, you can find all my books at Amazon as always. And just so you know, my best-seller Wrapped Up in Chains is only 99 cents until the end of June!

 

 

Patience is a virtue, might be my only one…

So, it’s been a while. Life had definitely been making things interesting lately….or always.

Work keeps me the most busy. I love my job but sometimes it feels like it’s taken over my whole life and I have to work harder on changing that a bit.

Also, trying to write takes up a lot of my time. Not actually writing of course. That would be silly. I mean trying to find the urge to write. When I’m not at home with free time, there are a ton of ideas running through my brain. I write chapters of stuff in my head when I have no time to write it down, but as soon as I sit down in front of my computer, it all flies right out of my head and all that flows from my fingers is gibberish.

However, things are looking up. I’ve got some chapters of a new story, one that my friend, editor and publisher (all the same person, lol) says has promise. And I have an idea for Love Aggression.

Oh yeah, there’s that too. After a long, long, (so freaking long) time, Love Aggression will be out on May 30th, thanks to that publisher I mentioned. Purple Horn Press has taken a chance on me and for that I am eternally grateful.

I can’t wait for you all to read this story. I am still so proud of it. Its funny, after I go through the editing process with a book, I usually end up almost hating it. The stress of the whole publishing process drives me up the wall because it makes me feel so incompetent.

But with this story, its different. I still felt like a moron after the 3 round of edits but all in all, I still love it. I love my characters, especially Jesse. Everyone who knows me knows how much I love kids and Jesse is no exception. He’s a mashup of all my nieces and nephews with a big splash of my sarcastic, sassy and amazing daughter thrown in for good measure. I spent a long time looking after other people’s children and I’ve met dozens of wonderful kids just like Jesse…without the wolf shifter thing of course.

And Ty and Kelan? I hope you fall for them as much as I have. Sometimes I can’t believe that they chose me to tell their story. They lived in my head for a long time and I don’t think I’m quite done with them yet. They might make an appearance in another story I have in mind that stars one of my side characters that my pre-readers and proofer seemed to be fascinated by.

What else is going on? Pride is coming up in a couple of weeks. I’ve already booked the day off because I had to miss last year due to work. I am really looking forward to this year. I’m going with my girl, of course, and some of her friends who have never been. One of them is a young man who has just recently come out and he really is a wonderful human being. He’s been a great friend to my kid, which will always win my heart over and I know that experiencing Pride with him and Meg and Dani and Jeremy will be a lot of fun.

So yeah, that catches you all up on me. In a couple of weeks there will be another post with my flailing about my book and I will apologize now for my over-enthusiasm. For now, here’s a look at my beautiful cover, designed by the very talented Ashavan Doyon.

No, I’m not lost…just…misplaced. Also a fic rec.

Yeah, I know, I say it every time. Too long between blogs but honestly, my life is just not that interesting and finding things to write about that won’t get me into trouble can be difficult. I could find lots to say that would get me in trouble, lol.

I’m still working on getting Love Aggression published. I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but life gets in the way sometimes. I’m hoping for a cover reveal this month and to have a publishing date not long after that. Between books I forget how much hard work it is to go from manuscript to sale-worthy. I have faith in my publisher though. And just so you all know, I think you’ll love the cover. I know I do.

We are definitely heading into fall in Alberta. Warm days and cool crisp evenings are my absolute favorite. I also tend to write more in the fall, because it’s when I’m the most comfortable I think.

And I really do need to get back to writing. I’ve been letting it slip because I’ve been stressed over getting Love Aggression ready to go but I think it’s making me lazy, lol.

As for everything else, I’ve been so busy working that I missed Edmonton Pride this year and I’m also missing the AIDs Walk. Both make me very sad but I’m going to plan better next year. I miss getting to connect in a more literal way with the community my daughter belongs to (at Pride) and doing my best to help out HIV Edmonton just makes my life a little brighter. But, I will be making a donation none the less, and I encourage you to do the same in your community.

The one thing I don’t stop doing ever is reading. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I couldn’t read. It’s my escape from the stresses of life when I can’t actually get away. Today, I’m going to rec one of my favorite all-time series. It’s one of those that I can read over and over again and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do. I know I’ve recced it here years ago, but I’m doing it again because I can’t help myself. I know when I’ve finished it (the whole series, every damn time) I’ll be smiling.

The Sinner’s Series by Rhys Ford is about the Morgan family and their friends and the men who love them. Every story will leave you wishing you were a part of this amazing group of individuals. Kane Morgan and Miki St. John introduce you to the series in Sinner’s Gin. I warn you though…be prepared to get swept into a tidal wave of angst and love and Irish mother’s who you will wish was your own. You will be lost to the world until you devour every single story include the one from the dog’s POV.

You can find it on Amazon and at Dreamspinner Press and if you haven’t read it, I suggest you run to get them. DSP always has one sale or another going on, so take advantage if you can.

As for my stories, you can find me on Amazon as well as Dreamspinner so far. Soon you will be able to find me on the Purple Horn Press website so check them out as well. My dear friend Ashavan Doyon has his wonderful stories going up there and I promise you, if you are looking for stories that break your heart before putting it back together, then Ash is the writer for you.

And because Sinner’s Gin takes place in San Francisco, here’s a beautiful photo from Anthony Aceto to get you in the mood.

Anyone interested in an audiobook? Let’s catch up and do a give away!

So, my novel Wrapped Up in Chains is finally out as an audiobook at Audible.com and I’m very excited about it. I was sitting there listening to it the other day and I have to admit, it’s a little strange to hear it read out loud. I tried to be objective and listen to it just as a reader but it was impossible.

We are our own worst critics and have having been over the story a million times during the editing process, I did hear some things in the audiobook that I feel maybe I should have done differently. However, I still love the story and I’m very proud of it and I found myself in tears in a few places…and laughing out loud in others.

What else is new? I am in the middle of editing Love Aggression with my wonderful new publisher, Purple Horn press and my editor Ashavan Doyon. I am blessed to have someone who is a talented wordsmith helping me polish this story. It took me a while to get to the point where I could appreciate what good editing can do but now I understand that even the very best writers need help now and again. And the rest of us need it all the time.

We are working on doing a cover reveal very soon and I can’t wait to show you what a talented visual artist that Ash is. He found the perfect bits and pieces to put together to make something that I think is amazing and reflects my vision of what represents the story.

I’ve got a few WIP’s that I keep going back to but I have two plot bunnies that keep hopping around in my head and I just know that sooner or later I’m going to have to get one of them down on paper, so to speak.

Of course, there’s real life in there too. Working my butt off at my day job, but I am enjoying it still so if I have to work for a living (damn it) then at least I like what I do and love who I work for.

So, that’s it. Keep your eyes and ears open for the Love Aggression cover reveal and I’ll try to keep you all updated more often.

So now, here’s the give away part. I’m giving away 2 copies of the Wrapped Up in Chains audiobook so if you’re interested in a copy, comment on this post to enter, and let me know what it is that you like about m/m stories.

Ignorance has me sitting here shaking my head….

You know, I’ve heard some ridiculous things in my life and there’s no doubt I’ll hear more, but once in a while, I hear something that leaves me speechless…and not in a good way.

I was just talking to a friend and he was telling me a story that I’ve heard before. He’s a writer who spins amazing tales that leave me heartbroken before he picks up the pieces and puts it all back together again. I believe his books are so wonderful because he’s writing m/m stories from the point of view of a gay man who has lived what he’s writing about. There’s so much of him in his stories that I recognise from what I know about his life. The details might not be the same but he and his husband of many years are still in love and that’s something to be admired.

And that’s not to say that the ladies in this genre don’t write some breathtaking stories, because there’s some out there who make me crave every story they write because they are just that talented and fantastic. I feel lucky as a reader to have more and more stories to choose from in this field and I’m grateful to all the writers who grace us with their musings.

The thing my friend and I were talking about? The issue that’s put a burr under my saddle so to speak? He’s been told by women writers, to his face, that gay men should not be participating in m/m romance because it was “invented by women, for women”.

I have to admit, the top of my head just about blew off. And just to be clear here, I am a straight, female who is proud to be a part of this amazing family of writers but I cannot believe the gall of someone telling a GAY man that he shouldn’t be writing GAY romance stories because it’s not about him…

Excuse me? As far as I’m concerned, I am grateful beyond belief to all the gay men who have supported my writing over the years. This is them and their lives that I’m writing about and I do my damnedest to make sure I get it as right as I can. In fact some of my friends roll their eyes when I ask them questions because they’ve been asked “is this right?” so many time and they think I’m being a little ridiculous.

But as the writing community has found out in the last week, words hurt. Maybe most people don’t mean them with that intent, but if it is pointed out to you by people you are supposed to be supporting that what you’ve said has offended and hurt them then there is one proper course of action.

Apologize sincerely and learn from your mistake. Then move on. Don’t bluster and try to make light of it. Don’t accuse them of being too sensitive and don’t belittle their feelings. Be a grownup.

I don’t believe the gender of the writer is important in most cases. What’s important is the story and the feelings it invokes in the reader. But telling someone they shouldn’t be writing about their own lives is preposterous and if it wasn’t so ignorant it would almost be funny.

So I want to say thank you to all the men out there who have read my stories and sent me messages thanking me for them. I love hearing about how something I wrote has touched someone in some way. It’s what I dreamed of as a writer.

And I want to thank all the men who have supported me as I’ve dragged a story kicking a screaming out of my brain. The ones who told me when I got something right and the ones who told me when I got it all wrong. Both have helped me grow as a writer and I appreciate it more than I can ever express.

Anyway, that’s my two cents. My friend’s hurt was something I couldn’t ignore because it wasn’t something he deserved and I hope that the men in the genre realize that most of the women around here don’t feel that way and that we are happy to stand alongside you as we all try to live out our dreams.

Love Aggression has a wonderful home!

Long time no blog huh?

Yeah, there’s a lot going on that’s keeping me distracted so here’s a little catch-up!

I wanted to talk a little about Love Aggression. I’ve been working on this story for far too long and it’s been a lot of ups and downs but it finally has a home at a wonderful new publishing family, Purple Horn Press. I’m very proud to be a part of this new venture. It’s being run by two amazing men. Ashavan Doyon and his husband Ron Desroches.

Ash is a brilliant writer whose wonderful stories always wring my heart to peices before putting it back together again. They are raw and real and there’s always little bit of my friend Ash that I recognize in every story, because they all come from the heart. He had to deal with the fallout of Torquere and All Romance Ebooks closing and became determined to provide a better place for authors.

Ron is a businessman who will be making sure that everything is being run the way a proper publishing family should be and I know that between the two of them, they will make sure that every author that publishes with them is treated with decency and respect, something that seems to have been lacking as of late with some publishers and promoters.

So, if you have a story you’d like to get out there and would like all the help that a publishing family has to offer, give Purple Horn Press a chance. They are accepting submissions and the guidelines can be found here.

So, Love Aggression…it’s kind of a strange name but it has a story behind it. In fact, the whole book was written around it.

I was talking with a friend one day. They had adopted a Pitbull from a rescue shelter and after having him home for a little while they realised that there was a bit of a food issue with the dog. It all came to a head one day when they were feeding both the rescue dog and the other dog they’d had for years and the rescue attacked their other dog. Of course, my friend intervened and ended up getting bitten in the process. After everything had calmed down, my friend had gone back over the info they’d been given from the shelter and realised that in their enthusiasm, they’d missed the part about the dog being starved almost to death in its former home and it suffered from food aggression.

It was understandable. After living so long with not enough food the dog was very protective over not only its own food but any food in his area. The solution was simple really, they just had to feed the dogs in separate rooms and after that things ran a lot more smoothly.

That got us talking however. About how when you’d been denied something so important your whole life and how it would make it even more precious to you. And this idea came into my head…what if you’d never been loved? Your parents didn’t care about you, made you feel unworthy of love and because of that you’d never trusted anyone to really love you? Then what if you found yourself with a child? Someone who loved you just for being you? And then you found a lover, someone who fit everything you never admitted to wanting and who made you feel like you deserved to be loved for the first time in your life?

And then imagine what you would do if someone tried to take them away from you? And what if you weren’t completely human and that the animal that lived under your skin fought and howled to be let out to protect the most important people to you when they were under attack?

That’s where this story came from. Ty is a father and a lover whose whole life is wrapped up in protecting his son Jesse and his boyfriend Kelan from the men who killed Jesse’s mother. The fact that he’s a wolf shifter just means that he has one more fight going on, but this one is inside of himself, against the wolf who is a part of him but almost has a mind of its own at the same time.

I can’t wait to share this story with all of you. It took so long to get it out of my head and heart and into my book but I’m very happy with how it all turned out and I hope you will be too.

If you are looking to catch up with some of my other books, you can find them at Amazon.