Monthly Archives: January 2013

Today I realized something….

I’m a writer. With three published stories, I’m hoping I can say that and not sound too arrogant. But I started as a reader. I can’t even begin to guess how much I’ve read in my 43 years but it’s a lot.

When I was a kid, I was a loner and my parents moved a lot (I say 19 times from the time I was born until I started high school is a lot) so making friends and keeping them was hard.

Books were my friends. I was always ahead of the game when it came to reading and by grade six my reading level was tested. My parents were told that I was reading at a fourth-year university level. Whatever in the hell that meant.

I just couldn’t seem to stop reading whatever I could get my hands on. Classics like Little Women, Black Beauty and the Black Stallion series were devoured in elementary school. As I got older, I read whatever was in the house. My moms romance novels…even the trashy ones…my father’s historical novels about Horatio Hornblower and the Sharp novels by Bernard Cornwell, Dirk Pitt, anything Star Trek or Star Wars. I read it all.

Stephen King and Dean Koontz became an obsession with me along with the Skye O’Malley series by Beatrice Small. It’s what I did and my family was used to me walking around with a novel in my hands at all times. I usually had two or three on the go at once and it drove everyone around me nuts.

I started reading the Harry Potter books when my sister went on vacation and I watched her kids. I had to read it to my young nephew before bed and I was hooked.

I read fast…like crazy fast. I read the last…and longest…Harry Potter novel in a day. Once I get started, nothing can stop me until I’m done.

So, as a writer, I have these amazing new writer friends who are teaching me a lot and appreciate their patience and understanding so much.

I have writers in my new world who I love to read and who I can only hope to get to know.

Some of the writers have been so built up in my head that I haven’t even read their stuff yet and I love them to death.

But sometimes I am so disappointed. I hate it when story lets me down. When I’m done, I’m out of sorts if I’m not sad about it being over. And some stories, I read to the end, hoping for some kind of redemption and if I don’t find it, I get angry at the writer for screwing up my escape from reality.

I hope I never make a reader feel like that, but I know that I probably have. Everyone’s taste is different and just like I don’t love every novel I read, I know not every reader will love my novel. It kind of makes me want to fall into an anxiety attack but I’m well aware of the fact that it won’t solve anything.

Today I realized that I’m a writer…but I’m also still a reader. I had a story let me down and it’s still as frustrating as it ever was, but maybe I have a little more sympathy for the writer than I used to.

But I still hate it.

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Writing and editing…sort of…

So, I was going over my fic list on my Livejournal account and realized that I hadn’t ever added one of my J2 fanfics to my account. I head over to my documents and load it up and start reading and immediately start head-desking **repeatedly slams head in to desk**.

It’s been a year and a half since I wrote this thing and the changes in my writing are startling. I used to be so bad about switching POV constantly, sometimes in the same paragraph, and staying in one tense used to be almost impossible for me.

When I see all the obvious mistakes and grammar issues, I’m embarrassed to think that I posted this story on the fandom community that way.

Of course, now I’m going over it and re-editing and getting really picky about it, but I also know, that when I’m done, there will still be mistakes that I’ve missed and when I spot them (or worse, have them pointed out to me) I will feel like the biggest idiot on the face of the planet.

But I shouldn’t. Editing your own work properly is probably one of the hardest jobs you will ever have. As a writer, your brain tends to see what it knows you intended to write, not what’s there. It’s the reason we need good betas when doing fanfic and amazing editors when you are trying to be published.

To all you editors out there, you are my hero’s, I’m not kidding you. When I’m reading something that isn’t mine, mistakes jump out at me with startling clarity…with my own stuff, not so much.

So, once I’m done with the editing on this, I am going to post it. I keep hoping that my fandom stuff will bring more readers over to my published stuff and besides, all the friends I’ve made in my fandoms have brought me to where I am today. Without their encouragement, I never would have tried to be published so I owe it to them to continue writing about the characters we all love.

I am reccing another awesome author today. Mary Calmes writes amazing stories about the supernatural world that let me get lost when I need to find myself somewhere different. Her Warder series is probably one of the most amazing sets of stories that I’ve ever read and her Change of Heart series is like no other were animal story I’ve ever read.

She also writes stories of love and fear and men who don’t know that they are so much stronger than they think and she tears out my heart every time.

If you would like to read her stories, they are available from Dreamspinner Press and let me assure you, they are worth every penny. I read everything she writes over and over again, whenever I need a few tears and a smile.

Okay, that’s enough ranting for today. I’m off to finish this edit, fight with LJ to post it and then get to work on my WIP once again…which I’m dreading and desperate for in equal measure.

But that’s a rant for another day….

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Real life is distracting me…how dare it!

So, I am trying to keep up with this blog, writing, two jobs and a family…I have a headache.

First aid courses, cranky husbands on vacation and a daughter playing in a basketball tournment are all stealing my writing time and I hate it. All I can say, is bring on Monday! 

Go ahead, curse me, I dare you.

I am also missing my reading time. I just finished reading Heart of Texas by  R.J. Scott and I loved it. It was sweet and loving with enough angst to keep me interested. It had twists that I figured out half way through the story but I’m not holding that against it. Figuring out what’s going to happen doesn’t take away my enjoyment. I also loved the cowboy angle…sigh…cowboys…and the contrast between the two families in the story. Go and get it from Silver Publishing and read it.

Anyway, I am trying to figure out how I’m going to end my current WIP and I keep having ideas at the oddest times and then forget them when I sit down to write. I know, I need to keep a notebook with me, but it’s not really cool to be writing loves scenes in the middle of a class.

So, I hope to be back Monday with a better idea and a whole lot less frustration…

Maybe I need wine.

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Here again…maybe I like this blog thing.

So, I’m over at FB, chatting with these amazingly generous writers I’ve met and it never ceases to amaze me. Every time I think I’ve been a lucky as I can get with the people I’ve found, someone else (or more than one) comes along and shows me more!

Reviews…sigh. I think they might be the best and the worst part of being writing. The good ones lift you up and make your world brighter and the bad ones rip your heart to shreds.

No I find myself in the postion of trying to decide if I’m going to solicit reviews or not from people who do it professionally. It terrifies me, to be honest. I mean, if you go looking for something, you can only blame yourself if you don’t like what you find.

Since the first time I submitted to Dreamspinner, my life has been such a roller coaster ride of ups and downs and twists and turns and I love it, I really do…except when I feel like throwing up.

Writing fanfiction is much easier. 99% of the people who review or comment are positive and love what you do. They beg for the next chapter and tell you how beautifully you write and how you’ve moved them to laughter or tears.

With published works, there is no instant gratification for your ego and you have to wait for your royalty report (like I am now) to see if anyone is interested in something you’ve poured your heart and soul into.

Trust me when I say, the only thing harder for me is watching my little girl cry after someone has hurt her feelings. I guess my writing is sort of like my child and the thought of anyone being mean to it makes me want to rant and rave and rip the person to shreds.

But, this is the chance you take when you put yourself out there in the public domain.

So, first of all, to all you lovely authors who are listening to me and helping me out (Theo, Emma, AJ, Kate, Edmond and all the rest) Thank you so much. Your support is something I’m quickly coming to rely on.

I also promise to become a better reviewer. If a story moves me, I want the author to know because they deserve to hear how their work affects the people who read it.

Now, off to figure out if I’m brave enough to ask question I might not like the answers to.

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Monday Morning…my best day…

So, as a writer I have good writing days and bad ones. My best writing day seems to be Monday for the most part.

I know, who likes Monday, right? Me, that’s who. My weekends are spent working and dealing with a family who thinks that their time shouldn’t include writing time for me.

Come Monday, I have so much floating around in my head that needs to get out and it usually just pours out of me.

My current WIP, a sub/Dom story that is different from anything I’ve written before and different from what I’ve read before, has become my little Monday refuge.

As soon as I’ve gotten my dayhome kids settled, playing games or doing art or watching a movie, I open my computer and get out whatever had been building in my head all weekend.

Of course, somedays it gets all tangled up and takes forever to straighten out and those days tend to drive me out of my mind. I end up clutching my coffee cup and muttering to myself as the kids look at me and giggle.

So, that’s a typical Monday for me. It’s my day for me. No one gets invited for dinner, no one but my very best friend Ryan gets a call from me and I lose myself in the world inside my head.

Obviously I’m still getting used to this whole blog thing. I’ll probably rant and rave here occasionally and tell random stories that don’t have any relevence to anything but my life, but I hope you’ll come back and get to know me a little better.

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Getting this all started!

So, I asked some folks who were really helpful and they suggested I start a blog so people can get to know me.

So, this is me. I’m a mom who works two jobs trying to get things done and I write when I get free time. How I manage to write anything is a mystery!

I got started writing with fanfiction. I watched the show, loved the boys on it but thought the writing was terrible. I thought I could do better so I tried.

Here I am three years and 4 novella’s later. No one was more surprised than me when my publisher said yes to Cowboy Way, and I was sure it was a fluke. When they said yes to All the Things I Didn’t See, I almost fell off my couch. Now Luck of the Irish is out and Hunt and Pray is coming in April and I am still reeling from it all.

I love the writing. It lets me pretend that my brain still works and helps me feel like more than just a diaper changer, laundry folder and family chef. I loved doing all those things, but there’s more to me than that and it’s nice to finally remember that.

So, I hope I can find something interesting to say here once in a while and I hope someone reads it.

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