Category Archives: Things that bug me.

Ignorance has me sitting here shaking my head….

You know, I’ve heard some ridiculous things in my life and there’s no doubt I’ll hear more, but once in a while, I hear something that leaves me speechless…and not in a good way.

I was just talking to a friend and he was telling me a story that I’ve heard before. He’s a writer who spins amazing tales that leave me heartbroken before he picks up the pieces and puts it all back together again. I believe his books are so wonderful because he’s writing m/m stories from the point of view of a gay man who has lived what he’s writing about. There’s so much of him in his stories that I recognise from what I know about his life. The details might not be the same but he and his husband of many years are still in love and that’s something to be admired.

And that’s not to say that the ladies in this genre don’t write some breathtaking stories, because there’s some out there who make me crave every story they write because they are just that talented and fantastic. I feel lucky as a reader to have more and more stories to choose from in this field and I’m grateful to all the writers who grace us with their musings.

The thing my friend and I were talking about? The issue that’s put a burr under my saddle so to speak? He’s been told by women writers, to his face, that gay men should not be participating in m/m romance because it was “invented by women, for women”.

I have to admit, the top of my head just about blew off. And just to be clear here, I am a straight, female who is proud to be a part of this amazing family of writers but I cannot believe the gall of someone telling a GAY man that he shouldn’t be writing GAY romance stories because it’s not about him…

Excuse me? As far as I’m concerned, I am grateful beyond belief to all the gay men who have supported my writing over the years. This is them and their lives that I’m writing about and I do my damnedest to make sure I get it as right as I can. In fact some of my friends roll their eyes when I ask them questions because they’ve been asked “is this right?” so many time and they think I’m being a little ridiculous.

But as the writing community has found out in the last week, words hurt. Maybe most people don’t mean them with that intent, but if it is pointed out to you by people you are supposed to be supporting that what you’ve said has offended and hurt them then there is one proper course of action.

Apologize sincerely and learn from your mistake. Then move on. Don’t bluster and try to make light of it. Don’t accuse them of being too sensitive and don’t belittle their feelings. Be a grownup.

I don’t believe the gender of the writer is important in most cases. What’s important is the story and the feelings it invokes in the reader. But telling someone they shouldn’t be writing about their own lives is preposterous and if it wasn’t so ignorant it would almost be funny.

So I want to say thank you to all the men out there who have read my stories and sent me messages thanking me for them. I love hearing about how something I wrote has touched someone in some way. It’s what I dreamed of as a writer.

And I want to thank all the men who have supported me as I’ve dragged a story kicking a screaming out of my brain. The ones who told me when I got something right and the ones who told me when I got it all wrong. Both have helped me grow as a writer and I appreciate it more than I can ever express.

Anyway, that’s my two cents. My friend’s hurt was something I couldn’t ignore because it wasn’t something he deserved and I hope that the men in the genre realize that most of the women around here don’t feel that way and that we are happy to stand alongside you as we all try to live out our dreams.

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Filed under Things that bug me., This is important., Writing and thinking.

The post in which I get myself in trouble again. Discrimination…What the hell?

So, life has been challenging as of late and blogging has fallen off my radar, but recent goings on in the good old US of A have my blood boiling.

You know, every time I think “wow, things are changing so much for the LGBT community and equality seems to be making its way forward around the world” something happens to remind me how far there still is to go.

So, the thing that’s getting to me is this religious discrimination law in Indiana. And this is where I get myself into trouble. I have people whom I love dearly whose faith in God is the thing that gets them through life’s trials. I sometimes envy them that faith because it helps them when times are tough but as much as I’ve tried, I just can’t go along with their way of thinking. I don’t judge them for it, or look down on them for it and I’m more than happy to agree to disagree on the subject because in the end, the thing I do believe in is treating people the way I want to be treated. I think the world would be a much better place if everyone could just get that through their head.

But of course, there’s always those people who don’t have room in their minds and their hearts for a live-and-let-live attitude and it’s something that just pisses me off to no end.

I have so much to say, but getting it organized in my head isn’t always easy so I’m going to start here:

It strikes me as funny that these people who are so determined to have these laws to protect religious freedom don’t seem to understand that theirs isn’t the only religion. These people wanted the right to refuse service to the LGBT community based on their religious beliefs and now they have it. (I’m a little curious about how these businesses are going to tell if someone is gay or not? Will there be a lie detector at the door?)

Can you imagine, however, the outcry if a business owner refused to serve a woman because their religion states that women shouldn’t be out in public uncovered and unaccompanied by a man? Or if someone refused to serve a customer because their god is the only true god so they can in good conscience serve a someone who’s Jewish, or Muslim, Christian or Buddist?

Or how about this scenario?

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Bet a bunch of you are laughing…that could never happen you say. You’re being ridiculous Cindy!

But it’s something that’s in realm of possibility with these laws in place. I admit that I don’t know all the details of the law, or how it’s to be enforced. I don’t know which business situations they will be relevant to, but it doesn’t really matter. The fact that it is on the books in any way shape or form is offensive and deeply troubling.

I don’t understand the need to discriminate against anyone and while I’m not sure exactly where I stand on God as a whole, I do know that to me, the religion that is preached rarely seems to be the religion that’s practiced. If there truly is a God and we are to believe that he’s a good, kind and merciful God who just wants us to be good to one another, then how can you ever believe that this kind of behavior is anything that he would want?

If you feel the need to look down on someone for any reason…skin color, sexual orientation, looks, financial status or any of the many reasons that cause people to become bigots…maybe you should stop looking at a book written so long ago and look at yourself and figure out what it is about YOU that makes you need to hurt someone to feel better about yourself.

As you all know, I’m a writer who’s main characters are all members of the LGBT community and a bunch of authors I know are putting together a fundraiser in response to the one that’s popped up for the pizza joint in Indiana that stated they wouldn’t serve gays and lesbians. A ton of money is being raised so these people can continue to discriminate against those who don’t deserve it so surely we can raise a bunch of cash to help people who are being discriminated against!

It will be simple, make a donation to a LGBT charity and you have a chance to win something! Tons of authors are offering up prizes, including me and it will be posted on April 18th. I will post the link then and I hope you all will participate. Do something good to help people and get a chance to win a prize!

Anyway, I’m stepping down off my soapbox now. I know I’m probably gonna get some shit for this but to be honest I just don’t care. I’m tired of watching people being treated like crap because of who they love. It really makes no sense to me.

Be good to each other. Strain your brain to look outside the box and see if you can find a way to see things from a different point of view. It’s something I struggle to do every day and I’m hoping it makes me a better person.

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Filed under Monday Rants, Things that bug me., This is important.

I’m an author behaving badly…

So, I have a couple of things to talk about today and let’s start with the less controversial one.

The death of actor/comedian Robin Williams hit me pretty hard. I’m one of those old enough to remember him on Mork and Mindy and he made me smile so many times over the years…only slightly more times than he made me cry.

The World According to Garp was a strange and wonderful movie that came out in 1982 and I realize now that I was probably too young the first time I watched it to appreciate everything it was about. Robin Williams performance as T.S. Garp was inspiring. I remember being horrified by all the ways life made things difficult for him but it wasn’t until I had dealt with a few of my own life issues that I understood a lot of went on in the movie. John Lithgow’s excellent portrayl of transexual Roberta Muldoon was my first introduction to a community of people who have become so important to me 30 years later.

Robin Williams movies kept everyone laughing and thinking and there’s no doubt that some of his characters, like Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams and Armand Goldman (The Birdcage) are iconic and will never be forgotten. In fact, almost every role he played was unforgettable.

But after his death, the one role that jolted me, the reminder that brought me to tears, was when I remembered that he was Genie in Aladdin. I’m not sure why the first picture of Genie and Aladdin hugging was the one that broke my heart but I think it might be because it was one I enjoyed so often with the kids in my life. I watched it with my nieces and nephew, with all the children I’ve cared for over the years and of course, with my daughter and I’m still have a hard time reconciling that the man who brought Genie to life left this world by his own hand.

I’d heard all the stories of course. His troubles were always splashed across the newspapers and TV screens but when it’s not someone you know…someone who’s a part of your life on a daily basis, it’s had to grasp exactly what they’re going through. But I’ve often thought that it seems like people who are the most talented are also some of the most tormented.

I hope he’s at peace now.

And now on to the more inflammatory part of my blog.

Yesterday a story broke about a young girl in Arizona, nine years old, who accidentally shot and killed her shooting instructor while being taught to use an automatic weapon.

Now, anyone who knows me even a little knows how I feel about guns. If anti-gun talk pisses you off and will cause you to write long vitriolic emails to me, you’d best stop reading now.

In what situation is it necessary for a 9-year-old to use an Uzi? Are we in the middle of the Zombie apocalypse? Or is this the “hunting” weapon of choice in Arizona? Seriously…this little girl now has to live with the consequences of the extreme stupidity of the adults in her life and in fact, unless she gets some pretty amazing help, this one accident had probably ended the life she might have had as effectively as the bullets ended the life of the man trying to teach her.

I hate guns with a passion. There is nothing redeeming about guns. They were created with one purpose and one purpose only. To take someones life. They are inanimate objects that are often in the hands of the worst people and that is the problem. People…we are not perfect by any means. Even the best of us. Some people suggest that lack of training is the reason for so many innocent people dying at the hands of those with a gun. I don’t care how much training you’ve had, it doesn’t stop you from snapping one day and doing something stupid that you can’t take back. Ask the dad in the movie theater who was shot by the ex-cop for texting his babysitter.

I have also heard “the only way to stop bad people with guns is with good people with guns”. I’m sorry, but when did we regress to the wild west? I have no desire to live in the middle of The Gunfight at the OK Corral. In Aurora, Colorado some folks suggested that if someone else would have had a gun, they could have stopped the lunatic who was shooting people. Or, more innocent people could have died caught in the crossfire between the good and the bad.

And that’s how it feels, like we are caught in the crossfire. I know that guns will never go away, but what bothers me is the attitude of those who insist that someone’s dead child doesn’t trump their right to own a gun because it’s this attitude that’s getting innocent people killed.

I don’t have a solution to this problem and I probably never will, but it doesn’t stop me from being outraged over the damage done to this child and so many others.

So bring it on gun lovers. Tell me how I’m wrong to feel the way I do. Hate me for thinking that my child’s right to not be gunned down in the street is way more important than your right to walk around with a gun in your hand. You will never change my mind and all you will do is prove in my mind that I’m right.

Okay, I’m stepping down off my soapbox now and get back to doing what any author should be doing…writing or you know, looking for ways to avoid it.

And to distract you from my ranting, have a beautiful picture by my photographer friend, Anthony Aceto.

tywallpaper32

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Filed under Hump Day, Things that bug me.

My world is still frozen and I have a big mouth….

Feb 24th…4 more days until the end of the most dreaded month, at least for those of us who don’t have the strange obsession with risking life and limb to slip around on pieces of fiberglass and wood in freezing temperatures. I’m much better at the whole “sitting by the fire with spiked hot chocolate while reading…or writing…or doing anything that doesn’t require being outside. But I have to be honest…I’m tired of being stuck in the house.

So, a few things to chat about today…the first one being Arizona and it’s attempts to put equality back 50 years. The legislators in this fine state have put forth a law that allows business owners to discriminate against the LGBT community based on religious beliefs. Well, doesn’t this just open a bucket of worms.

So, you think that gay couple is the very example of sin so you can show them out of your restaurant. Lesbians want you to provide the flowers for their wedding? How disgusting…kick them to the curb.

But wait how about this one…this woman wants to work for you but your precious religious beliefs tell you that women belong at home cooking and cleaning and serving their man (hello Pat Robertson) so you can refuse to hire her based on your religious beliefs.

Couldn’t happen you say? Well here’s the problem. The people who want to make laws based on religious beliefs have a tendency to forget that there is more than one kind of religion in the world and that each one comes with its own set of rules and regulations that their followers are supposed to adhere to. When you say that people can discriminate based on what their religion says that means ALL religions.

Maybe someone should start a religion that says legislators can only be allowed in public if they crawl. Lets see how they feel about being humiliated in public because someone’s god supposedly says it’s okay to treat them that way.

And before you get all upset and in my face, I’d like you to think about how you’d feel if you were forced to follow ALL the rules set out in the bible and not only adhere to the ones that you think are important.

Oh man, I’m running into dangerous territory here…let’s change the subject for now.

How about another topic completely relevant to me…reviews.

Once again over on Goodreads we have the case of a writer behaving badly. Someone wrote a bad review of their story and the author and their friends bullied the reviewer until she pulled her review.

Now, as a writer I know this is unacceptable behavior. Bullying in any form is just wrong and I don’t support it in any way. It’s totally a reviewers right to say whatever they want about something they read and the writer has to just sit back and take it. They put their stuff out there and once they do the work is public domain. Shut up and quit complaining because someone completely trashed something that you poured your heart and soul into creating. I know the rules and I follow them because I value what little writing career I have.

However, I do have one thing to say. I also write reviews and never once has it occurred to me to say something mean-spirited or personal about a story or it’s author, no matter how bad it is. I make sure to keep my comments and critiques to what’s written on the page (or my computer, whatever) and I try to be constructive instead of hurtful. I know that I probably hurt some people’s feelings when I don’t like their story but it’s never what I set out to do. I guess because I know how it feels to be on the other side of the review…

And maybe, just maybe, people writing reviews should remember that just because it’s their right to say what they want (and I’m definitely not arguing that) it doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t stop and think about HOW they say it and why. I get lots of bad reviews and I know that I probably deserve a lot of the criticism I get. Writing never stops being a learning process and I’m the first to admit that I still have a lot to learn. But I will learn a lot more by being told how I can do things better rather than just being told it sucked.

Too often people get attention by being mean. They defend it by saying they are just “blunt and honest”. I’m a big fan of both bluntness and honesty, I just think that you can be both without being cruel.

Anyway, I’m not reccing anyone today. I’ve said a lot of things that will probably get me into trouble and I don’t want to bring wrath down on anyone’s head by association.

Oh, one last thing. The Olympics are over and Canada came home 25 medals richer. While I still don’t believe that Russia deserved to be hosting the best in the world, I supported the athletes from all over the world who participated and I am very proud of the way Canada’s athletes represented us!!!

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Filed under Monday Rants, Things that bug me.

Burnt out Wednesday Thursday…and who am I reccing today?

You know, some days I have a really hard time figuring out what to write about here. I want to be interesting and relevant. I want to make you laugh or make you cry or make you so pissed off you want to punch something…or someone.

But mostly I’m just kind of boring and ordinary. I run my dayhome during the week with some admittedly hilarious little boys and on the weekends I work at a drug store. I live in a small town and I love it most of the time. I like being at the store and seeing the same people coming in. You get to know your regulars and I like the fact that when I greet them by name and tease them, they have a tendency to light up and smile.

We get a lot of senior citizens coming through. There is an assisted living building just down the street from the store and they like that they can walk up on their own and spend some time around people. I’ve seen some folks spend hours walking around the store, stopping to talk to people they know and it makes me smile to be a part of it.

But sometimes I miss living in the city. I don’t drive at all and trust me, there’s a good reason for that. It’s bad enough that I would be taking my own life into my hands but the thought that I could hurt others by doing someone stupid behind the wheel paralyzes me with fear. In the city, though, I could hop on a bus and get where I needed to go on my own. I hate having to ask for rides to do things that need to be done but I don’t have a choice.

I miss being able to go to the movies without help or attend an art or music festival. I miss being able to walk down White Ave, a street that contains a bunch of eclectic shops and interesting restaurants. In August they have a theater festival there called the Fringe and I used to love to walk around and see the different booths that were set up and the “interesting” people who walked around. You could see anyone from Goths sweating it out in all black to executives in suits to families with three kids walking side by side, smiling and chatting with each other in the celebratory atmosphere.

In downtown Edmonton in July you get the Street Performers Festival and the Taste of Edmonton. And of course, there’s K-Days going on now, a week-long exhibition of music, games, rides and cultural events.

Not being able to just hop on a bus and get to where I want to go is frustrating, and some days I wonder if the safety and security of my small town is worth everything I had to give up.

Mostly it is. My daughter is starting grade 7 with the same kids she went to preschool with and she’s never had to deal with being “the new kid” like I did pretty much every year I went to school until I started high school. I can let her get on her bike and ride to the park or go to the pool by herself without worrying too much. I’d never be able to do that in the city.

I like going to the grocery store or the local diner and being greeted by people I know. Walking into the pizza place, I usually see at least one teenager who I’ve known since they were small because they were friends with my nieces or nephew who also grew up here.

I know my neighbor on both sides and I’m at least on nodding basis with most of the people on my street. The neighbor across the alley is the local hero because he likes to play with his snow blower in the winter and usually does the sidewalk all around the block. He’s also made friends with my husband and so usually does our driveway as well.

So, yeah, I’m kind of torn about where I live. I guess the upside is that the city is only 20 minutes away and if I really need to get there for something, someone will give me a ride. My whole family lives here and so I’m kind of lucky that way.

However, I sometimes worry that my writing career could negatively impact my daughter because I live in such a small town. I’ve been lucky so far. Everyone I’ve told about my m/m romance stories has been pretty positive although some are kind of confused. I don’t hide what I do and I proudly display my own name on my books. I know there are very good reasons that a lot of people use pen-names but I wanted to be able to show people my books and say “SEE!!! That really is me!”

But gossip in small towns runs rampant and I know that sooner or later I’m going to meet “that” person. The one who thinks I’m disgusting and a horrible pervert for writing about two men in love. I really don’t care for my own sake. Those people can kiss my ass for all I care, but I do worry for my girl. She’s a lot like me. She is passionate and independent and sometimes a big pain in the ass. But she also has a huge heart and when people are cruel to her, it hits her hard.

I know that the first person who makes her feel bad because they think her mom is a freak is going to break her heart…and knowing her, she might break their nose. And I’d be proud while I was scolding her and explaining it to the police. (one of whom lives down the street from me).

My family is very supportive of me, even though they don’t understand why I do it and why things like the equal rights movement is so important to me. It’s not like they are against anything I believe in, but like most people, it’s not personal for them so they don’t really think about it.

My mom is my biggest supporter. She’s convinced I’m going to be the Danielle Steele of gay romance novels, just like she was convinced when I was younger that I was going to be the next Tammy Wynette or Barbara Mandrell (if you don’t know who they are, Google them. The all-time queens of country music). Her faith is unshakable and I love her for it. I only wish I had as much faith in myself…and I’d settle for being Andrew Grey or Mary Calmes (you can Google them too).

Okay, so once again I’ve rambled on way too long, but I’m claiming editing fatigue. The latest WIP is no longer a WIP and has been edited within an inch of its life and sent off to the publisher for consideration. Excuse me while I’m hyperventilating because this waiting stuff never gets easier. I know rationally that I will probably have at least one manuscript rejected by my publisher at sometime…and I know it’s going to knock my world off it’s axis when it does. Every writer feels that way. We put so much of ourselves into what we put down on the page that our story being rejected feels like I’m being told that Cindy Sutherland as a person isn’t good enough. It’s like someone telling me that my child is ugly.

Okay, so for my fic rec. I’ve recommended Mary Calmes as a writer but I specifically want to mention this story. Frog is about Weber Yates, a broken-down rodeo cowboy…at least that’s how he sees himself. In reality he is kind and understanding. He just naturally takes care of what needs taking care of…except himself of course. When he goes to see his sometimes lover, Cyrus Benning, he finds himself in the middle of a family crisis and gets caught up in down what’s right. He slowly comes to realize that the things he thought were important about himself are not the amazing things other see. All I’m going to say is that we could all use a Weber Yates in our lives.

Get it here at Dreamspinner: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=2892

And here at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Frog-ebook/dp/B007XAFECY/ref=sr_1_15?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1374775550&sr=1-15

And of course, you can already check out my stuff at both places. http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=454

Amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

One final note. As I’m writing this, I have on MuchMoreMusic, one of the Canadian music video channels. Macklemore’s Same Love just came on and it’s sitting at number 14 and climbing. It makes me smile. Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlVBg7_08n0

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Filed under Hump Day, Things I'm Thankful For, Things that bug me.

Some rambling Tuesday thoughts with the usual fic rec.

Someone kick me in the ass and make me finishing editing my story for submission. I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time with this one. It’s not because I think it’s bad. I love it and think it’s one of my best…and maybe that’s the problem. When you submit something there is always the chance that the publisher will say no.

In fact, I always assume they will say no and every acceptance has me floored. It’s the whole “hope for the best but assume the worst” way of thinking that I use to fool myself into believing that if they do say no, I won’t keel over and die of a broke heart. I am really good at self-delusion.

I’m one chapter away from finishing my Nuke Bigbang story and as it’s due Saturday, that’s a good thing. My last two BB stories were published but this one isn’t going that way. It’s nothing but pure fanfiction that I love writing for its own sake. I have a sinking feeling that it might be the last Nuke BB so I wanted to send it out in style.

I quickly want to express my sadness over the death of Cory Monteith. I loved his voice and his sweetness seemed to be a genuine thing. Another young artist who found fame and addiction to be a deadly combination. I thoughts are with his family and friends. Glee will certainly have a different landscape this upcoming season.

I also wanted to express my disbelief over the whole George Zimmerman trial but as every time I think about it I start to growl and wanna punch someone in the face, I will leave it alone.

As for ideas for my next novel, I have a few thoughts but I’m unsure where to go with them. I’ve been getting off to a fantastic start a lot these days only to fizzle out after the first chapter. I’m finding it very frustrating.

So the summer is almost half over and don’t tell anyone, but I can’t wait for fall. It’s my favorite time of year. Especially after the first frost…when the bugs are gone. I am suffering from an ant problem that is starting to drive me batty and yes…I have tried every home remedy and store-bought solution there is. I’m looking at hiring a professional once my royalty check comes in. I don’t want an exterminator I want an ant TERMINATOR!

At this point I’d rather be dealing with a mosquito invasion and for those of you who know me, you understand how big of a statement that is for me. But at least the mosquitos stay where they are meant to be…outside!

Now, about that fic rec.

Lace by Jaime Samms is the story of Caleb, a young man on a journey to find himself with the help of his boyfriend Levi. It takes patience from the people he loves and meeting a kindred spirit to make Caleb realize that it’s okay to let people in and to show who you really are. It’s one of those stories that makes you want to smack the main character as often as you want to hug and protect him.

Available here at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Lace-ebook/dp/B00AHFHYUW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373984800&sr=8-1&keywords=Lace+Jaime+Samms

Of course, my stuff is available here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank

And here, at my wonderful publisher: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=454

They are having a 30% off sale today, so check it out before its over!

4 Comments

Filed under Things I'm Thankful For, Things that bug me., Writing and thinking.

Baby it’s hot outside! And a fic rec…of course.

So, it’s gonna be a hot one out there today. Seems like a good day to write and I will, later…while hiding in my basement.

But first I’m going to ramble a little.

So, June was Pride month and I learn some things. First, I learned why June is Pride month, at least in North America. I looked it up and learned about some of the horrible things that led up to the Stonewall riots that took place on June 28th, 1969.

I also read about the Upstairs Fire, a horrible act of arson and murder that killed 32 people at a gay club in New Orleans in 1973. You can read about it here yourself but be warned, the picture that accompanies the article will haunt you. The article calls it a massacre and I completely agree. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2013/06/24/1218532/-Remembering-LGBT-History-The-New-Orleans-UpStairs-Fire-the-Largest-Gay-Massacre-in-U-S-History

I don’t know enough about LGBT issues and I admit that. As someone who writes gay romance novels, I sort of feel like it’s my responsibility to know as much about the people I write about as I can. That means the good and the bad and I’m really trying.

The good things that last month brought? I attended my first Pride celebration and fully intend to make it an annual event.

And I watched with breathless anticipation as the Supreme Court of the United States brought down two rulings that offered hope to millions of people who want nothing more than to be treated just like everyone else.

I was in tears as I watched the people standing on the steps of that courthouse when they read the first ruling striking down DOMA. Happiness warred with disbelief in so many faces, like they were afraid to believe it was really true. I saw pictures of Edie Windsor and she looked elated…but I bet in her heart she was wishing her beloved Thea Spyer could have witness that day.

Then the Prop 8 ruling came down and it was amazing. I would like to know how many marriage proposals those words prompted.

So yes, June was a big month and there was so much to be happy about…but there is still a long way to go.

There are still mountains to climb and oceans to cross. As my friend Ryan pointed out, those rulings were wonderful, but in the state he lives in, it doesn’t mean much. He still can’t get married where he lives and there are so many other states were the LGTB community is in the same boat. So enjoy your victories because you deserve it. You are all fighting so hard every day and you need to take the time to rejoice in the good so that you can find the strength to keep on going. But unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of time to rest.

I’m going to do what I can. I will keep promoting and donating. I’ll continue to talk about the issues with anyone who will listen (and even those who don’t want to listen). And I will celebrate with everyone in the LGTB community every time there is another victory.

And then there will be days that I’ll be sad and feel slightly guilty because all those things you’re fighting for come to me without a thought because I am a straight woman and I know it isn’t fair in the least.

I know, I know…life isn’t fair. In fact, a lot of the time it sucks. People who deserve so much more are constantly denied it and those who have way too much don’t appreciate it enough. I know it’s the way things are but I don’t have to like it.

My mom always told me I was too idealistic.

I keep seeing this quote all over my FB. “Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate being gay, but instead our right to exist without prosecution. So instead of wondering why there isn’t a Straight Pride month or movement, straight people should be thankful they don’t need one.”

I am thankful. I can’t even begin to imagine how awful it much be to feel like I’m not welcome to be a member of the society I live in.

But as you look around my dear friends, I hope you see all the people who are there for you. People like me, a middle-aged straight woman from Canada that believes that everyone should be treated with equality and dignity and respect. (you can thank my parents for that) I see you all and acknowledge what you’ve been through and hope you know I stand beside you, humble and thankful that I can do what little bit I’m able to make things better for you.

I also live for the day that Gay Pride becomes something else. I would like to see it become Human Pride because at that time, we all stand as equals in every way.

That would be something to have Pride in.

Okay, enough of my rambling. How about something to read?

I recommend Purpose by Andrew Q Gordon. It’s a little different, kind of on the supernatural/sci-fi scale but I love the evolution of both main characters as they sort of meet in the middle and figure out how to live and love with each other. Ryan makes Will more human while Will makes Ryan stronger. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Find it here: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3902

And here: http://www.amazon.com/Purpose-ebook/dp/B00DIRNV2Q/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1372779878&sr=8-1&keywords=Purpose+Andrew+Q+Gordon

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Filed under Things I'm Thankful For, Things that bug me., Writing and thinking.