Yeah so, first thing is, I’m a bad, bad writer and blogger. Imagine, I’m so busy writing I forget to blog and time runs away from me so I hope you can all accept my heartfelt apology.
Second thing? I’m not American. I’m one of those crazy Canuks who celebrated our version of Thanksgiving around my birthday in October. We love our little holiday but America has turned Thanksgiving into an art! I will have my half-frozen ass parked in front of my television tomorrow morning watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade like I have for the past 30 years or so. It ranks right up there with watching Pops goes the Fourth in July, another holiday you guys do amazingly well.
But here’s what I’m thinking about today. I’m thinking about kids and how many of them are celebrating the holiday tomorrow…and every holiday…without their family. Not because they ran away or because some horrible tragedy has befallen the family, but because their family has thrown them away.
I look at my daughter and I can’t imagine anything that she might do that would cause me to throw her out of my house and choose to never see her again. I can’t ever fathom saying “you don’t live up to the ideals I have for you in my head and in my heart so you are no longer my child.” I’m pretty sure she could commit murder and I’d be the first one at her side, figuring out the best way to help her.
But the thing that absolutely leaves me stunned with anger and grief are parents who abandon their children because of who they love. How can love ever be something bad? I have a lot of friends who are a part of the LGBT community and I know some are going to be somewhere other than home tomorrow because they aren’t welcome in their familie’s homes and it makes me wish I could bring them into my family and give them the acceptance and love they deserve to be basking in.
And it’s not just them who a left alone.
There are parents who don’t approve of their child’s job, who don’t like some aspect of their children’s lifestyle so much that they just give them the ultimatum…be who I want you to be or get out. The ones who give in end up almost more alone and miserable than they were before because they are forced to give up some basic part of themselves to made everyone around them happy.
And the ones who don’t? They are my hero’s! They gather their strength and realize that they can’t make anyone truly happy if the aren’t be true to themselves first. And maybe it’s not their job to make the people around them happy anyway.
As a parent, I didn’t give birth to my daughter so that she could live out all my dreams that I couldn’t make come true. I didn’t want a child so that I would have someone to take care of me when I’m old and can’t do it for myself. When she was born I didn’t put conditions or labels on her and decide to love her only if she lived up to them. The day she came into my world I was already in love with her and my only ambition was to raise her to the best of my ability and hope that after I gave her the best childhood I could, that she would make the choices she needed to make herself happy.
Children don’t choose to be born. Regardless of how you got pregnant and any circumstances around it, once you made that choice to have that child then you are responsible for giving them everything they NEED in life to make it the best you can.
Now that doesn’t mean Playstations and i-phones. This means love and acceptance for who they are, not who you want them to be.
I have other friends who are estranged from their families for other reasons and they know who they are and I hope that you have friends to spend the day with (and maybe family that you choose instead of that you were born with). I hope everyone who’s celebrating tomorrow has a wonderful day and please, if you’re traveling, be careful on the crazy roads.
To those who are going to be alone…I wish I could gather you in my arms like you are in my heart and give you all the love and hugs your deserve. And to those families who have thrown their children away, I hope you come to your senses one day and realize that there’s a very limited amount of time to make amends with those children before it’s too late and someone is left with more regrets than they can handle. There are too many parent’s out there who would give anything to have the chance to spend one more holiday with their child.
I was going to rec a story about children who have been thrown out but realized I’ve already recced them all. So instead, I’m going to rec a story about courage and two young men who have to be braver than they’ve every been to be together.
“A Face in the Window” by Cheryl Headford is a fantastic story about two young men who’ve work hard to overcome their past on their way to their future. It will make you cry but you will smile in the end. Find it here at Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Face-Window-Cheryl-Headford-ebook/dp/B00GKR1OF2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1385588725&sr=1-1&keywords=a+face+in+the+window
And as always you can find me here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=ntt_athr_dp_sr_1?_encoding=UTF8&field-author=Cindy%20Sutherland&search-alias=digital-text&sort=relevancerank And here: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/index.php?cPath=55_454