So, the first thing I usually get asked when I tell people I write books is where do I get my inspiration?
Wait…that’s a lie, the first thing is “why GAY romance novels?”
But the second is where I get my ideas from. The first story I wrote was an alternate scene for the soap I was watching because I was pissed off and wanted it to go a different way. I wrote a lot of those as well as missing monents and stuff.
The first novella I published, Cowboy Way, was inspired by a picture I saw of one of my favorite characters sitting on a mechanical bull. All of the sudden I had sexy cowboys and beautiful horses and the places that senario could go on my brain. The story was intended to be 3 chapters but by the time my dear readers were done giving me ideas, it was 26 chapters long.
The second one I published was inspired by the absolute batshit crazy that was going around my fandom at the time. Anger, death threats and just sheer stupidity had me wanting to reach out and smack everyone’s heads together, and All the Things I Didn’t See was born from the idea of “how far would an off-balance fan go?”
Luck of the Irish was actually started long before my second and finished long after it. It came from an offhand comment from a friend who said he’d love to see an Irish Noah…one of the characters that we both adored. Of course, then I had to come up with a reason that he was living in Ireland and it grew from there.
Now my next book, Hunt and Pray was a challenge that was issued by the same friend when I said I could only write romantic fluff. He was irritated with me for my lack of self-confidence and told me I could write any damn thing I wanted too.
I started thinking of thriller type movies I saw and thought about all the kidnapping/action movies I’d seen. Once the idea was in my head, it had to come out and it did! I’m still not completely sure I could do it again, but I have a feeling I’ll try.
So, now for the free fic. Just a little something I wrote because…because I was stressed and needed to relax. I’ll post part two on Thursday or Friday
A Heart’s Desire by Cindy Sutherland, copyright 2012
Colby looked up from his computer at a small noise and his jaw dropped as Jace, his roommate and secret crush walked into the kitchen.
He was obviously getting ready to go out somewhere…a club from the look of the pants he was wearing. And those pants were making Colby’s imagination work overtime.
At 6’4, Colby was 5 inches taller than Jace, but the other man had always seemed to be so much larger than life. And in brown leather pants that looked buttery soft and heavy boots he seemed to dwarf the larger man as he sat at the kitchen table.
“Colby, have you seen my white shirt? The one with the black buttons?” Jace’s walked around to the closet by the apartment door, going through it, the muscles in his back and shoulders bunching and pulling under his skin and it made Colby’s mouth water.
“Uh….” He wanted to answer Jace, but he couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence.
Jace turned around and walked over to the table and stood over Colby, looking down at him with a knowing smirk. “Something wrong?”
Colby looked up at the man he’d been crushing on for a year and a half and didn’t know what to say. He sighed and dropped his gaze, his right hand automatically going to stroke over the thin leather strap that was always wrapped around and around his left wrist, put there when he was seventeen by the first man he’d ever submitted to.
Jace reached down and grabbed his chin, tilting his head up so that he could look into his eyes.
“Come on Colby. You know you can tell me anything, right?” He could see the frustration building in Jace’s expression but didn’t know how to tell him what he wanted. What if it wasn’t what Jace wanted? What if he lost his friend and his dignity at the same time?
Jace sighed and let go of Colby’s face. “Okay.” He took a step back. “I’m just gonna go and look for another shirt. I’m going out to The Thunderdome tonight, to meet up with Mark and Hector.”
The Thunderdome was a good place to go if you were looking to pick up someone if you wanted to play. The thought of anyone else kneeling at Jace’s feet made Colby’s heart feel like it was going to burst and he knew that he needed to take the chance.
He threw himself forward off the chair, landing on his knees in front of Jace, looking up at him for just a moment. “Take me with you?”
He let his eyes drop and then he heard the other man gasp as he leaned forward and put his forehead on Jace’s hip and put his hands behind his back, gripping his elbows.
“Why?” Jace didn’t sound reluctant…just cautious.
Taking a deep breath, he unbuckled the leather strap from his wrist and held it up for Jace to take. It was actually a collar that he’d kept as a reminder of who he was and that it was okay to need the things he did. “Please take me with you?”
He sat and waited for Jace to either take it and buckle the leather around his neck, or turn and walk away, leaving Colby alone and heartbroken.
The room was quiet, except for Jace’s harsh breathing and the sound of Colby’s own heart beating so loudly that he was sure that the other man must be able to hear it.
He felt Jace move and then the leather was taken out of his hand. Fingers curled into his hair and his head was pulled back, firmly but gently.
“Look at me Colby.” Jace’s voice left no doubt it was an order and he hastened to obey.
When he was meeting the other man’s eyes, the grip in his hair loosened and he almost purred when Jace’s hand began to card through his hair.
“You sure this is what you want? We can’t go backwards from this.” Jace’s voice was tightly controlled but Colby could hear the want coursing under the surface.
He nodded. “I’m sure I want this…I need it.” He nuzzled into Jace’s hand, turning to press a kiss to the delicate skin on the inside of his wrist.
Jace looked down at him, searching his eyes and he must have found what he was looking for. He leaned down to kiss Colby, and the bigger man just relaxed and let it happen. He let his mouth be taken, Jace’s tongue thrusting inside and sweeping through it, tasting every part of it.
“I’ve been dreaming about your mouth since that night. You remember?” Jace spoke low and rough, and it rumbled all the way up Colby’s spine.
He remembered that night. They’d both been drunk at a friend’s New Year’s party and had been standing beside each other come midnight. With no significant others to look for, they’d turned to each other for their midnight kiss. It had been so hot and Colby had never wanted it to end, but they were pulled apart by friends and the moment had been lost.
When Jace let go of his head, Colby dipped his head again, letting his hair fall forward and exposing the nape of his neck. His breath hitched as he felt the skin-warmed leather on his throat. He almost sobbed with relief when the buckle was fastened and Jace’s fingers hooked on it, tugging firmly.
It wasn’t meant to be his permanent collar. That was something that would be given to him by his Dom when the other man was ready…when he’d decided that he was going to keep Colby.
This was just a place holder, something to show others that he was taken and not interested in even looking.
Another tug pulled his attention back to Jace. “Yes Sir?”
The other man petted his hair before urging him to his feet.
“Go get dressed. Those faded jeans, the ones with the hole in the front pocket, black wife-beater and your black boots.” Jace let his hand wander over Colby’s cotton covered chest, and then pinching his nipples and making them peak.
Colby moaned quietly and Jace reached down and patted the taller man’s ass. “No underwear and put on that cologne I like.”
Colby nodded. “Yes Sir.”
“I’m still your friend Jace, Colby. Whether we’re at home or in public, that’s my name, unless we’re in a scene.” He hooked his hand around Colby’s neck, pulling him down for another kiss and Colby let himself go pliant in Jace’s hands. “Tonight though, at the club? It’s Sir…or Master if you prefer.”
“Oh god yes….” Colby couldn’t help it. The feelings running through him made his knees tremble and his heart beat faster. He was finally getting something he’d only dreamed about.
Everyone assumed that because he was a big guy, he’d always take care of them…and he would. His friends and family meant so much to him that he’d do anything for them.
But he’d discovered the freedom of letting go a long time ago and there was nothing like letting someone else take care of you. Letting Jace make the decisions was a gift…for him and for Jace.
He’d been drifting as he mused and he was brought back to reality by a sharp slap on his ass.
“Come on, darlin. We haven’t got all night.” The smile on Jace’s face belied the harsh tone of his words.
Colby couldn’t help himself, his happiness overwhelming everything else for a moment, and he leaned down to hug Jace like he had a millions times since they’d become friends.
He nestled his face into the shorter man’s neck for a second, inhaling the spicy smell of aftershave and sweat that he’d become addicted to. When he pulled back, Jace was smiling indulgently up at him.
“Thanks Jace. You’ve made me so happy.” He knew he was grinning like a fool, but it didn’t matter. Jace had seen it all before.
“You have no idea, baby.” He patted Colby’s chest and gave him a gentle push toward his room. “Now go.”
Colby went willingly, pulling off his clothes as he went. He stopped at the door of his bedroom to push the sweats and boxers he’d been wearing off his hips, giving Jace a good look at his muscular ass.
“Get moving sweetheart. If I have to paddle your ass before we go to the club, you won’t enjoy it as much as you think you will.” This time Jace’s tone was serious and it made Colby shiver with anticipation.
He dressed quickly and then ran his fingers through his shaggy hair, wanting to make sure he looked as good as he could to go out with Jace. It wasn’t the first time they’d hung out at the bar together. They’d gone out looking for hookups a few times, but it was the first time they were going out like this…as a couple.
At least he hoped they were.
He thought maybe he should get some clarification on the subject, but at that moment, Jace came through the door.
He’d found a shirt, this one white cotton that hung open over a white muscle shirt. He’d rolled up the sleeves and was wearing a silver cuff on his left wrist.
His dark hair was short and perfectly spiked and he projected an air of confidence that was impossible to miss. Just looking at him made Colby want to drop to his knees and crawl over and lean up against his legs, begging to be touched.
“Jace…” He didn’t know what he wanted to ask…if he even dared to ask anything at all, but the other man seemed to understand.
He walked over and grabbed the front of Colby’s collar and used it to pull him close.
“Can’t wait to get my collar on you baby.” He leaned in and sucked hard at the skin under Colby’s jaw, making him squirm and leaving a red bruise where everyone could see it.
The big man whimpered, and he almost felt dizzy with the blood in his body rushing to fill his cock. He put his hands on Jace’s hips, trying to anchor himself.
“Everyone’s gonna see that you belong to me tonight aren’t they sweetheart? Should I put a leash on you?” Jace pushed a thigh between Colby’s, rubbing teasingly against his cock.
“Don’t need it.” Colby’s throat was dry.
Jace wrapped one arm around the taller man’s back and let his fingers slide down under the waist of his jeans, teasing down the crack. “What’s that baby?”
“Don’t need a leash…oh fuck…don’t wanna be where you aren’t.” Colby knew his voice was wrecked and breathy but he didn’t care.
“Yeah?” He could tell that Jace wasn’t even trying to hide the pleased tone in his voice.
“I promise, Master. I won’t leave your side.” He looked down into Jace’s eyes, daring the contact for just a moment. He used the word Master deliberately, wanting Jace to know that he was serious about what he said.
Jace reached up and stroked Colby’s face, smiling warmly at him. “That’s my good boy.”
Colby flushed at the praise, ducking his head shyly.
Jace took his hand and led him out the door, snagging their jackets from the hooks on the wall on their way out.
It was a short walk to the subway station where they caught the train that took them downtown. They’d both shrugged into their jackets to keep the chill of the night off and when they arrived at the club, the collar Colby was wearing was hidden.
He only had eyes for Jace, but he couldn’t help notice all the attention they were attracting as they walked into the main room. Colby’s size was drawing some of the more inexperienced subs in the room and Jace was getting looks from both subs and Doms.
He tried hard to not let it bother him, but once again, Jace seemed to know that something was amiss. He turned and crowded in close, resting his hand on the small of Colby’s back while the other found the front of his collar, pulling him down so that Jace could speak into his ear.
“It’s okay, baby. We’re almost to the table. We can get rid of our jackets and everyone will be able to see that you’re mine.” He reached up and bit down on Colby’s earlobe before licking over it soothingly.
He looked at his sub, waiting for his nod before taking his hand and towing him through the crowd. When they reached the table where their friends were, Jace slipped of his jacket and laid it on the bench before holding out his hand for Colby’s.
The bigger man was grateful to get rid of it. It was hot in the club and he really wanted to show everyone they knew that he finally belonged to someone…someone who was special.
He unzipped the jacket and took it off, then handed it to Jace so he could put it with the others. The animated conversation around the table quieted as their friends noticed the collar around Colby’s neck and the possessive hand that Jace had on his waist.
Hector, a high school friend of Jace’s, smiled at them and nodded his approval. “So you both finally decided to wise up, huh?”
Colby blushed and ducked his head into Jace’s shoulder but his Dom just pulled him in closer and kissed the side of his head.
“It was all Colby.” He stroked his hand up and down the big man’s back. “I never would have given it a chance if he hadn’t dropped to his knees in front of me.”
Hector’s boyfriend Mark grinned at them. “It looks good on you both.”
Jace nodded his thanks at them and turned to speak to Colby. “Why don’t you go and grab us some drinks at the bar.”
“Okay.” He pressed a small kiss to Jace’s neck and walked through the crowd.
He made his way up to the bar, ignoring the wide-eye surprise from the subs he passed and waited for the bartender’s attention.
The man had just looked his way when he was jostled from behind. He turned to look and was confronted with a greasy looking man with long hair and more leather and chains than he’d ever seen on a stereotype.
The man was as tall as Colby, although not as built, and he had the asshole vibe coming off him in waves.
“Oh, sorry dude…” The man trailed off as he took in Colby’s collar. His face changed into a sneer. “You better look the fuck out, gigantor, before I teach you a lesson or two.”
Colby snorted. “Ain’t nothing you can teach me, jackass.”
The man’s face contorted in rage. He grabbed Colby’s arm, trying to twist it. “You better show me some respect, sub, before I put you on your knees.”
Colby’s reply was cut off by an ice-cold voice coming from behind them. “You’d better get your fucking hands off my boy or you’re gonna be sorry.”
The greasy Dom just sneered again. “What are you gonna do about it, asshole?”
Jace smirked at him. “Nothing.” His voice was deceptively calm but Colby knew that it was the calm before the hurricane. He kind of resented it though. He could take care of himself. The collar hadn’t changed that.
The other man tightened his grip on Colby’s arm and grinned stupidly at Jace. “That’s what I thought.” He tried pushing Colby to his knees again and Jace moved back a little and grinned.
“It’s okay baby.” He looked up at Colby. “Make him sorry.”
Colby nodded. “Yes Master”. He reached with his free hand to grab the hand on his arm. He did what the man had been trying to do, twisting his arm behind him and pushing him to his knees.
“Submissive don’t mean weak or stupid, you fucking asshole. You best remember that.” He twisted a little more, making the man squeak. “And I only go to my knees for one Master and you’re definitely not him.”
With that he let the Dom go and walked over and dropped proudly to his knees at Jace’s side, the other man’s fingers going automatically to card through Colby’s hair approvingly.
The greasy man got up off the floor and started angrily towards the pair only to be intercepted by the club’s security guards. “You need to learn to respect the rules and touching someone else’s property is definitely not respecting the rules.”
The bouncer was huge, dwarfing everyone including Colby, and he used that size to his advantage. He had both the man’s arms pinned to his side, his feet dangling uselessly above the ground.
He turned to look at Jace. “This man’s poor behavior isn’t your sub’s fault.” It was a warning that Colby was sure his Dom didn’t need, but he appreciated none the less.
Jace nodded. “I know. I saw it all happen.” He looked down at Colby and smiled and it made the subs stomach twist with pleasure.
“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go sit down.” He reached down and helped Colby stand. They moved to go to the table but the taller man stopped. “I never got the drinks.”
The bartender waved them to the table. “I’ll bring them out. I know what you guys want anyway.”
Jace thanked him and then steered Colby back to the table. When the sub went to kneel beside the table, Jace stopped him and pushed him into the bench seat behind the booth.
“I don’t want anyone else trying to touch you.” He scowled around the room, like someone might be plotting to get near Colby and it should have been overly possessive and insulting, but it just made him snuggle close to his Dom when the man slid into the booth beside him.
They sat for a while, Jace talking with his friends and Colby content to sit beside him and be petted. He wasn’t really big into the club scene, only venturing out when he needed to find someone to play with.
They’d been there about an hour when Jace decided he wanted to dance. He slid out of the booth, pulling Colby with him. Once they were on the dance floor, Jace pushed them together, grinding against his boyfriend, until they were both sweaty.
Colby wasn’t much of a dancer but he liked being out there knowing that Jace’s eyes were on just him. When his Dom pulled his shirt from his jeans, Colby took the hint and slid it off, tucking it into his back pocket.
He closed his eyes and let the music take him, loving the approval he could feel radiating from Jace. He was spinning and he could feel the sweat sliding down his back and was a little lost in the sensations right up until the moment he felt a set of hands skim down his sides that most definitely didn’t belong to his Dom.
In the next second he found himself pulled away from the hands and up against a solid chest and he was relieved to find himself in Jace’s arms.
“I think it’s time to go baby.” Jace’s voice allowed no objections, not that Colby had any, and they made their way back to the table to get their jackets.
They said their goodbyes to their friends and wove their way through the crowd, Colby taking comfort in the heat of Jace’s hand on his lower back.
The quiet outside was almost deafening after the pounding base in the club and Colby found himself turning to apologize to Jace.
“I’m sorry Sir. I don’t know why everyone was so determined to touch me tonight. I didn’t want it…” He trailed off, not able to read his Dom’s expression.
Jace put his arm around Colby, tucking him close to his side. They fit together well, despite the size difference and it made Colby feel cared for.
“It wasn’t your fault. They saw the collar and acted stupidly.” Jace reached up to give it a little tug, making the taller man blush with pleasure. “And you’re very beautiful, my sweet boy.”
Jace was about 5 years older than Colby and he loved it when the older man referred to him as his boy.
“Thank you Master.” He dipped his head shyly and was rewarded with an affectionate slap on the ass.
“Come on. I wanna get you home and fuck you until you forget your name.”
And just like that, Colby’s cock was so hard it threatened to burst out of his jeans. He couldn’t help the small moan that broke free and he suddenly found himself pushed up against the wall of the building they were walking beside.
“God I’m learning to love the noises you make.” Jace grabbed the collar with both hands and pulling Colby in to ravage his mouth. The younger man could do nothing but press his hands back against the wall and arch into the hard body in front of him.
He whined when Jace finally let him go and tried to chase that addictive mouth but his Dom just grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him towards the subway entrance.
“Go, before I drag you into the nearest alley and fuck you against a wall.”
Colby’s cock twitched in his jeans and he wasn’t surprised to feel a wet spot growing on the front of them. He was going to have to hide behind Jace all the way home to keep people from seeing.
They walked to the subway and down the stairs to the platform and Colby prayed for the train to come quickly.
When they finally got on the train, they stood near the doors and Jace pulled Colby in, tucking him close to his side and letting the taller man hide against him. A few people looked at them a little strangely, but a glare from Jace had them all minding their own business, except for the middle aged woman who, by the look of her uniform, was on the way home from some mind-numbing job.
She looked at them like they were the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, appreciative, not predatory, and Colby was happy when Jace smiled and nodded at her.
When they got to their stop, Jace pulled him off and didn’t slow his speed at all as they made their way home.
Colby expected to be pounced on the second they got in the door so he was surprised when Jace just pushed him into the apartment and then just stood there looking at him.
“Jace…?” He wanted to ask what was wrong but was cut off.
“Shhh.” The Dom walked over and turned him around gently, sliding the jacket off his shoulders and tossing it to the floor.
He let his hands roam over Colby’s shoulders and back, before slipping his fingers under the hem of his wife-beater and pulling it off.
Colby’s eyes slipped shut, overwhelmed by the tenderness of the kiss that Jace pressed between his shoulder blades. He was turned around again and he was shocked when Jace kneeled in front of him.
The other man kissed Colby’s flat stomach just under his navel and then bent to remove the sub’s boots and socks.
The sweetness of the Dom’s actions had something warm and twisted growing in Colby’s chest and it felt like his heart might stop when the Jace stood up and crowded up behind him.
Jace reached around and palmed Colby’s cock through his jeans before popping the button and slowly pulling down the zipper.
Colby groaned and pushed his ass back against the bulge but the other man stilled his hips with the touch of a hand. “Just let me take care of you.”
Jace whispered the words in Colby’s ear and it sent shivers down his spine. “Yes Sir.”
“We’re at home, Colby. I wanna hear my name.” The Dom punctuated his sentence with a sharp nip to the soft skin behind Colby’s ear.
“Jace…” The sub hissed it out as his cock throbbed and another spurt of pre-come slid down his aching flesh.
“Good boy.” Another nip and Jace pushed the denim off Colby’s hip. His cock sprung free and slapped wetly against his abs. Jace urge him to step out of his jeans and then pulled him closer.
“Oh baby, look how beautiful you are.” Jace growled against his ear and Colby was sure his legs were gonna give out.
When a strong hand wrapped around his cock and started stroking hard and fast, his knees did let go for a second and it was only Jace’s strong grip around his waist that was holding him up.
“Oh god…Jace…” Colby moaned, hands clenching uselessly at his side. “Please…I’m gonna.”
“Do it sweetheart. I want you to come now!” It was a command and Colby was helpless to do anything but follow it.
He arched his back, his head falling back against Jace’s shoulder and cried out as ropes of white heat pulsed out over his Dom’s hand.